This Ruins It, Completely
by vanay
Summary: Rachel finds out about Finn's secret. Rachel's POV.
1. Unbelievable

**Hello!**

**This is my new story and I absolutely loved writing this! I basically experienced the same thing except the guy was my bf already, so I relate to what Rachel could go through if she finds out.**

**It will be from Rachel's POV. This is not beta'd. All mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GLEE**

Finn and Rachel were strolling through the large grass area where the reception for Carole and Burt's wedding was being held. Laughter, dancing and the romantic atmosphere spread through the crisp air, this had been the best day Rachel had experienced to date. She felt all the emotions but was overcome with anxiety and to hear what Finn had to say, after all he had rudely interrupted the deeply important conversation she was having – however it sounded urgent and it left her feeling unsettled. Her mind continued at full speed ahead in anticipation although at this point she realised he would confide in her at the moment he felt was best, so she didn't put pressure on him by pursuing the conversation, instead they continued in silence.

The wedding had made her emotional she could tell, she leant into his side to take in the scent of the man she treasured more than her own life, and her mind wondered to the past present and potential future they had. Rachel knew she loved him possibly more than what she loved herself. Her thoughts were buzzing through her mind about she managed to get so lucky, she wished many a time that a prince would rescue her but came to the realisation that fairy tales didn't really come true, but at least in her case it had in the shape of one Finn Hudson. He was her best friend, her boyfriend and her everything. He may not have necessarily been able to meet her on her intellectual level but emotionally she connected with him completely, and physically she couldn't get enough of him, not now not back when she sang grease with him, and probably never. Rachel smiled at the thought and at his warm hand in hers, knowing that this was his commitment to her, his sign to her he felt how she felt.

The silence was beginning to become prolonged and it started to agitate her and all the conclusions she was drawing were being made mindlessly whilst the tension extended until she could take no more. Rachel wanted to share a few words before he did so while he didn't have the courage, she did. She turned and placed her had on his chest gently before smiling up at him and saying

"Finn, before you tell me whatever is bothering you I want to say something to you." She smiled again, and looked down before pausing and continuing. "You make me the happiest girl alive, I love you so much – it almost scares me as much as it scares you. I hope one day, we experience what your mum and Burt have today. I have also decided I want to give myself to you Finn. I'm ready." Rachel still hadn't placed her eyes on his since she began her speech, but she expected some reaction from the boy in question, however small. She slowly raised her head to see his pained expression and a teary glaze in his stare back at her. She thought he may burst into tears.

"Rach" Finn said almost inaudibly. "There's something I need to tell you. Before I do I want you to know I love you so much and I want anything, everything, and all that you said I want only with you." His voice was pleading so franticly that Rachel just wanted to give him a big hug and comfort him but she felt uneasy, a gut instinct insisting something was not quite right so she remained still and took her placed hand away. Finn looked away and wiped the tears off his face. "The night I thought you gave yourself to Jesse, I was so angry with myself and with him, and I was upset that you didn't want to give yourself to me. The nights I spent thinking about us doing- anyway I screw up big time Rach," Finn was choking on his words struggling to get his point across. "I really nailed it this time. As you know I went out with Santana and we, well we….I'm not a virgin."

Rachel felt a yelp escape her mouth and her eyes begin to swell with tears, her stomach felt nauseous. Her eyes almost popped out in shear horror and her body suddenly began to involuntarily tremor. Finn continued "As long as I live, I will regret it not being you. You are so incredibly special, I don't deserve you. I know what I did makes things harder and I've messed this up-but please-I'm begging you to forgive me?"

He could have been on his knees but Rachel could not bring herself to even consider letting this be brushed under the carpet. She tried opening her mouth to talk, but she couldn't form the words. The fire in her heart was being stamped on so fiercely she was surprised it hadn't floored her. She stared into the distance at the clear sky and prepares her response back to his revelation.

"How could you do that, Finn to us? How could you do this to me?" Tears continued streaming down her small withdrawn face and the pain she was feeling was so intense, it felt like a knife cutting through her and twisting deep. She took another sharp breath before looking at him sadly knowing what she had to do. Rachel exhaled and continued. "You know what Finn, I knew this was too good to be true, you and me; us together like a normal teenage couple – should have known the loser and the jock – the beauty and the beast. At least I have what Quinn didn't have and what Santana probably will never understand – respect for myself and my dignity. If you need to go to such lengths to make yourself feel better that's fine, but I'm not going to be the second notch on the bedpost. Whatever 'this is' it's finished. In your own words Finn Hudson – I'm done."

Rachel was clutching onto her beautiful bouquet of flowers as if her life depended on them through those crucial minutes just past but she lost her grip on the flowers that were placed so neatly in her hands and as if this conversation had been recited in slow motion, they fell slowly onto the ground. With one last glance at her guy who stole her heart, she turned quickly and ran away from him. She ran through the green for what must have been at least fifteen minutes, she had to escape the desperate pleas of forgiveness Finn had been issuing left right and centre. She felt the chill of the afternoon breeze flowing through her which calmed her down slowly.

Her mind was spinning, she felt her breathes increasingly laboured until she felt her legs give way. She collapsed in a heap onto the now muddy ground. She ached so badly, it was a physical, mental and emotional pain all rolled into one. Her body rocked into a curled ball and the watering of her eyes never gave up. She laid there for what seemed like an eternity. The sky started to cloud over as if the discovery was of universal effect. It was to her. She never thought you could love someone the way she loved Finn. Even if they weren't together when Finn slept with the Santana it still hurt like nothing she ever felt before. Rachel knew that little piece of him she wanted so badly to share with him would now never be hers. She yelled, and cried and released all the anger inside her, if she insisted on keeping it inside she swore she was actually going to die. The love clichés in the movies were never supposed to exist, even those had a happy ending, but instead she felt her world was ending.

Rachel stopped abruptly in her screams as she felt a presence behind her, and God help her if it was Finn. She doesn't even turn to see who it is, but is aware that whoever it is is edging closer to her. Her tears continue and she remains in the same spot when she hears the familiar voice.

"Berry, erm you ok – you sorta look like hell, actually cut that - proper shit' Rachel would have responded at Puck's disgusting profanities but she didn't even want to care. Nothing mattered to her anymore.

"Look Rachel, I'm a guy-you're a girl. I'm crap with woman – do 'em them screw them over is my motto. But Finn's my boy – he for some reason doesn't want to set himself on fire whenever you're around." Puck knew his convincing was getting nowhere – getting laid was his mojo. He owed Finn that much so he preserved. Rachel remained unresponsive but regardless Puck would not give up.

"He told me what happened, and I know it's not cool to you but he actually loves you. I know you are the only person he has ever loved, apart from his mum. He's a wuss in my personal opinion, grown a vagina and allsorts." Puck sighed at the lack of frown at his choice of language and used his last resort to get her off that ground 'Rachel – I see the way he looks at you, the way he admires you, I know the way he will look after you, make up for this hiccup. He made a mistake. He was so scared of losing you he lost control. It's a guy thing – I do it all the time. The difference is that I never learn from shit I do, but Finn does. Give him a chance."Rachel patiently listened to what Puck had to say. It sunk in deep. He made sense in a 'Noah Puckerman way', even if his cussing was an absolutely obscene.

Right at that moment in time Rachel felt dirty and asked him quietly if he could either drive her home or arrange away to get her out as quickly and discreetly as possible. Her head thumped on and on, images slamming into her that she would have never wanted to imagine happening let alone knowing it was a true event. It made her skin crawl as it did encourage the bile to rise through her. She pulled herself up with all the energy that remained in her body and accepted the hand that Puck was offering her. She took it but immediately realised holding hands with anyone would never compare to the feeling she got when holding hands with Finn.


	2. Berry Quiet

**Hello, I'm sorry I've been rather delayed in updating. I hope I did Puck justice, I must admit I found this difficult to write. T for quite a bit of swearing just to prewarn you. **

**I appreciate your story alerts, favourite story alerts and putting me on favourite/author alert. Also thank you so much for the reviews**.

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee, all mistakes are my own and this is not beta'd.**

**Puck's Pov**

He pulled Rachel off the rough ground and helped her steady herself onto her feet, patiently waiting until she had securely stood up before contemplating releasing his grip off of her. He inhaled sharply and felt his thoughts speed right through his mind – this after all was Finn's girl, holding hands with her was not something he felt comfortable with, sure she was 'hottie' in her own way, but the saying 'been there done that' popped into his mind when it came to Finn and his girlfriends, the reputation had definitely preceded itself.

He was deliberating his next move but it hadn't take much for him to figure out Berry was obviously in no position to walk alone unsupported, so he concluded his concerns by holding her hand tightly and moving along slowly towards the car.

The silence was close to deafening if that were possible, and even through all his experiences he didn't know how this was supposed to work; 'feelings' were a load of tosh in his opinion, only possessed by the meek - a true sign of weakness, he thrived off the fact was he was known as 'badass puckerman', his reputation was one he was proud of. All of this suddenly felt irrelevant. He concentrated on the current worry weighing on his mind, Berry's lack of communication, she hadn't muttered a single word, not even a sign - an attempt at talking and frankly this was Berry, and if she didn't speak for five minutes hell broke loose, well either that or singing. Puck smirked at himself thinking about her normal abnormal characteristics - she talked as if it were going out of fashion, until it was eye-watering, plain boring, her singing on the other hand was tolerable. Still this withdrawn Berry was weird and Puck hated it more than the freaky one. He considered a topic of conversation – the weather was normally a starting point, pathetic as it may be this situation was appearing desperate. He smirked at the the amount of effort he was putting into Berry, especially as he knew there was no ride to be gotten out of it; Finnessa owed him.

Whilst the silence continued Puck thought about the last time he himself had actually cared about anything enough to bother – the last time he felt as strongly about something as Rachel showed she did, and that's when Beth and Quinn popped into his mind, but he shook that thought off and got back to the subject in hand. He placed his free hand onto the crotch of his trousers to check everything was in-tact – he need this reality check as it were, he felt his masculinity was slipping, he was 'the Puckerman', no one got away with rejecting him, not even Quinn Fabray. He quickly glanced at a fragile looking Rachel before staring intently up at the clouds closing in, then steadily letting out a concerned sigh. He tapped his fingers rhythmically against his legs and rolled his eyes trying to find a distraction from anywhere, he was losing interest with this hero role he was playing alongside a mute hot dwarf. The distraction came soon enough and he felt eternally grateful they were approaching the rusty car, the sheer awkwardness of the situation had made him feel like a pussy – it was far too intimate for his liking. Puck shuddered and assured himself he needed to go do some badass stuff once he had returned Rachel home.

They reached the car and he took one look at the petite girl and apprehended that he had seen so many sides to this person, but what he was facing was a very broken Berry. Without a second thought, he lifted her gently into the motor and helped her get fitted. As he went to close her passenger door, she looked at him blankly but squeezed his hand, as a sign of her gratefulness. As he walked around to his side of the car he couldn't believe Berry's physical state, she was a fucked up mess, but he wasn't prepared to tell her that, she obviously had enough shit to deal with already. He jumped into the driver's seat and adjusted his seat in his normal aggressive manner before turning to see Quinn and Finn in the distance through his rear view mirror. Puck opened his mouth to say the words but disregarded the thought immediately, Rachel was distraught already – she didn't need this.

They had been driving for what felt like hours but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. The road seemed endless - Puck tapped his fingers on the steering wheel; occasionally looking over at the distraught, shriveled figure slumped against the cool glass of the car window. He wasn't sure what to do to make things better; he liked chicks – especially hot cheerios, but not to talk to. He preferred to admire the curves they possessed and possibly take it further – but conversing with then – that was another guys' job, relationships weren't his thing, it involved the word he feared the most, commitment. It had become apparent Berry wasn't up for any conversation either way, and any conversation he had planned would get her pist anyway, so he just drove through taking in his view of the road, admiring the houses and the occasional cougar as they past.

He noticed how quiet his surroundings were, it was eerily quiet – it was as if she being upset had made the world upset, the thought had completely thrown him. She had previously tried convincing him she was one in a million, and this sort of reminded him of that weird devil film 'end of days'. Feeling freaked he quickly diverted his attention away from the oddity he thought up and hummed to the tune of his own thoughts when he heard an unusually quiet voice come from Rachel.

"Noah did-did you know? That Finn had…with Santana? Was I the last to know?" The sentence was barely comprehendible.

"Listen Rachel, I didn't know shit - Finn may only have half a brain to work with but this clearly was not in the guy's plan, even without you in the picture. However, I do know that Santana plays dirty games that I for one love, but in Finessa's defence she kind of goes for the kill with that tight ass of hers so I can see how he could have been led astray…."Puck stopped talking abruptly as he heard her sobs becoming louder and increasing pained. He considered whether to continue at the risk of causing some permanent damage but either way he figured she needed this affirmation.

"I doubt anyone knew Finn lost his vagina to Santana, besides everyones tapped that. That shit will never be his finest moment. You're forgetting a vital bit of information inside that brain of yours, you were with that bitch Jessie, so it's not like you two were together Berry! Finn didn't owe you anything" Puck anxiously awaited her response, wondering what type of defence he would require when she came to the realisation that he was turning it around on her.

Barely acknowledging him she slowly tilted her head and responded in an almost whisper "Your profanities are deeply shameful, Noah, I wish you would at least attempt to use more appropriate and civilised wording, and thank you – for this & for helping me understand what I couldn't before. What I didn't want to acknowledge before." He took a moment to assess her face and realised her tears were stopping, leaving her face stained but better than it had been, and he was secretly hoping that he had aided her in some way.

She was once again returned to her mute state - looking absentmindedly out onto at the scenery. Puck felt his brain in over drive as he tried to find this hidden meaning behind her response, clearly Rachel was moving forward again.

He looked out onto the horizon and realised the Berry residence was drawing near, leaving him feeling relieved but also concerned about leaving her in the state she was still in. He indicated towards the pavement, just as it started to spit with rain. She lifted her body into upright position, and turned towards him "Noah, I understand that it's difficult for Finn, I'm a diva. It's who I am – it's who I've always been. That has never changed." She was staring at him, but at the same time looking right through him. "I've never once cared what people did to me or what they said about me, I'd never let that ruin me. No one could ever have that over me, until the day I met him. This thing – Finn and Santana have or had, I'll never be able to have that. You are completely right though – I was with Jessie, and no matter how much it hurts me to admit this - I get that I had no claim over him". Tears are emerging from her eyes again, her face swollen and puffy. Her red eye looked sore and uncomfortable. Rachel was a strong person, but she wasn't immortal.

Puck was speechless – this was too intense, he could feel her pain and he felt bad for her – his gut feeling felt real, as if it was pulsating violently. He watched silently as Rachel gradually left the car. She turned and smiled with all the effort she could have consumed. He noted it didn't reach her eyes. She opened her mouth slowly and continued carefully "There's something that I think you're wrong about though Noah, he did owe me something and it counts for everything – he owed me the truth, and I value that so much more." The whimpers escaped her mouth and as she slammed the car down. The rain began pouring faster and harder, matching the tone of Rachel's revelation. Puck had no doubt she would go into full melt down as soon as she entered her house.

He remained still, looking onto her house with a frown on his face and a blank expression. He ran his hands through his Mohawk and sighed religiously. Five minutes had past, and he knew she was aware he was outside, she didn't need him for now at least. He indicated off onto the quiet private road and decided to head back down the wedding – he had to remind Finn that he was a dick, and to make sure he sorted this shit out - he seriously needed to man the fuck up. Berry might have been an annoying midget who had way too much crazy going on; but even she didn't deserved this shit.

**Next chapter will be Quinn and Finn & Kurt and Rachel. I love all the dynamics in these relationships so I really want to implement them. Thank you very much for reading. Finchel ftw though – personally I want him to suffer a little bit :) love will prevail.**


	3. Uncertain

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE

**Quinn's POV **

Quinn put her hands on Finn's arm gently as she watched Puck drive Rachel home, having been informed that Finn had just confessed his virginity, or rather lack of virginity to his annoying other half. It probably was for the best that Puck had left with her – who knew what would possibly kick off, besides it would hardly be fair to the wedded couple to ruin their special day. Quinn smirked at the thought of all this drama – at least she wasn't the cause of it – after this past year it was a huge relief and a weight off of her shoulders.

Quinn and Finn both continued silently with only the sounds of the car motor slowly fading and the quiet fields surrounding them. She wondered whether this was an ideal time to make an escape, but there was a time and place and he needed her, even if he wasn't aware of it. They remained motionless with only Finn's laboured breaths interrupting the silence.

Quinn looked onto the horizon and wondered how to approach the 'Rachel' situation, especially as she wasn't exactly her biggest fan. It would undoubtedly be a difficult conversation although she refused to give up, Rachel would never be an easy topic of conversation. The more consumed in thoughts she became the more she hadn't even noticed that Finn had quietly slipped away until he was completely out of sight. Quinn began to call his name quickly whilst mentally telling herself off and desperately searching for him with her eyes. She soon gave up the search, deciding for now space may be all he needed and that was the one thing she could give him.

It still made her flinch and difficult to accept that Finn preferred Rachel for the best part of the times they were together after what she did with Puck, though she knew she had no right to claim how it affected her. The thoughts flew though her mind as the harsh wind blew through her and giving her the chills that represented the darker skies, and little did she realise how much time had passed since Puck and Rachel, then finally Finn had departed.

Minutes later she was walking towards the building in a hurried manner when an exasperated Kurt literally threw himself at her with those diva-like dramatic eyes which easily competed with the other vertically challenged diva.

"Quinn," The sound was a high pitched tone, feminine and uptight. "We have a problem…Puck and Rachel were caught kissing outside Rachel's home by one foul Kavorsky, evidence has already emerged in the form of a photograph and news has spread like wildfire through mobile phone technology." Kurt paused temporarily for air and Quinn wondered how much further the Rachel and Finn show would progress in the space of one day.

Kurt continued in monotone voice that was clearly filled with confusion "Personally I can't comprehend how Finn kisses Rachel looking like she does, I for one couldn't look past it _ever,_ or how Puck would begin to see past this horrendous fashion faux to get to the face" Quinn agreed completely with his observations but gestured for him to continued. With one final and increased sigh he simply stated "Finn knows…."

She felt her eyes roll in disbelief and crossed her arms to show how unimpressed she was with the new development. Firstly the thought that every guy she liked ran off with Rachel revolted her, then she became increasingly perplexed at how a besotted Rachel and Finn had managed to ruin their 'perfect' but bizarre relationship in the space of one hour. Quinn wanted to be happy at the demise of the disgustingly happy couple but she couldn't be. Once again she began to search for Finn once knowing he would be distraught.

Quinn had been frantically examining every room for Finn, and considering he was an awkward and noticeable 6ft 3in guy this would hardly pose to be a challenge in normal circumstances. Somehow he had successfully disappeared and by some means discreetly too. She continued to pop her head in and out of the venue, shuffling through the drunk-dancing crowds and asking in hushed tones if had been seen in hope that he hadn't gone far.

Finally she stood in front of the one place she considered to be her last option. It was definitely the worst option too making her feel slightly nauseous – the men's restrooms. Relaxing her previously tense shoulders and ensuring she only breathed through her mouth she entered the forbidden territory. It wasn't long before she was met by a sorry looking Finn sat on the toilet seat running with his head bowed down and his hands roughly over his head.

"Finn? I would ask you if you're ok but you look awful." He had been crying, it was obvious but Quinn decided not to mention this "So would you like to talk about it, and I mean really talk?"

Finn didn't meet her in the eye and barely spoke with voice although his mood spoke volumes, "I doubt us talking is going to change things Quinn, I did what I did and she did what she did. Besides, lets face it I don't think us talking about what happened between Rachel and Puck is going to be a such a great idea after the whole baby-gate episode, do you?"

"Yeah I guess your right there, but I just don't want to see you hurt?" Quinn couldn't deny that his comments had stung her even if they were totally deserved. "No matter what happened between me and you, I still care about you - you know that right? Admittedly I was a bitch to you, and it's my fault you and the midget got so close. You were ten times the person I was, you still are - you always try to see the good in people. But remember

no matter what she loves you, more than you know, maybe even more than you deserve, even through all of this."

He looked at her, but the stare just seemed to burn straight through her. His strained voice started 'I never thought she'd make me feel so bad – I never thought I could love her _so_ much, she was always so up-front and honest clear about her intentions, I can't come to terms with the fact she did it on purpose, to deliberately hurt me. Why would she want to do that to me?" Quinn felt his heart break and hers for him too, and couldn't help but extend her arms out to hug the distressed figure. She was pleased when he didn't pull away. The pain was so visable it took all her constraint to not shed a tear.

"Look Finn I know what she did was wrong, the fact she loves-chases and manages to succeed in getting my sloppy seconds gets up my ass is wrong on _every_ level – though that's a conversation for another day. The fact you slept with Santana – no that's not wrong – but the way you hid it from her for so long or as some people would still refer to 'lied' to her was wrong!" She hoped this was making sense – being nice wasn't her forte. "I think I'd be pretty pissed if I were her, and I think she's made it clear that virginity is important to her, even I know that and I tune her out ninety nine per cent of the time!"

"But we weren't together…."

"You are now…."

"She kissed Puck"

"You slept with the devil, her arch enemy"

"She kissed Puck, _on purpose_."

"Ok Finn - _whatever_ you win. I totally get where you're coming from but we both know you're fidelity isn't exactly up to the mark. You have every right to be mad, you can go ahead and never forgive her, hate her with a passion and throw it all away. Is she worth it to me? No of course not! Is she worth it to you – well we both know that answer so whatever you do - don't be rash. You two _need_ to make awkward, annoying and ridiculously talented kids one time. You are both a part of something sort of 'special'. Don't let your mistake and her biggest regret finish you two off. We all make mistakes" She smiled at him, secretly pleased he was reacting well and not arguing at the hypocrisy of it all.

Quinn looked at the deeply upset man and felt so lucky to have been a part of his life, even to still be in his life – at one time if it weren't for Rachel he might have never spoken to her again. Quinn owed them both, she needed to help fix this. She continued leaning against the toilet wall noting his features slowly softening – satisfied she had helped even a little. He still had a blank expression consume his face, but he was no longer frowning. This comforted Quinn in knowing she did what she could, and she felt good for the first time in a long time.

A few minutes later It was obvious that the time had come to respect his privacy – the time to leave him do whatever he felt he had to do, so she leaned towards him gently holding his shoulders and placing a soft but strictly friendly kiss on his delicate cheek. Quinn whispered "Think about what I've said and I'm here for you."

She walked out slowly at first turning a final time and giving him another glance and smiling slightly, before speeding up her pace before she was found in the mens toilet.

Kurt jumped out at Quinn as she entered the venue room and appeared to have come from thin air, with that strained but blatantly obvious 'need the info now' look he had down to perfection. She had previously mentioned to Kurt that she would try convincing Finn pre-restroom that everything was going to be alright, but she needed to emphasise he seriously had to stop appearing suddenly, it was quite unnerving.

The false smile crept on Kurt's face before he curiously spoke "So? Gossip?"

She tutted slightly at what appeared to be a lack of concern for Finn/Rachel, which seemed to be more of an interest for the situation in terms of drama, but nevertheless she recited the conversation to him.

Quinn gathered her final thoughts on the situation before mentioning "No matter what Kurt, Finn won't 'just' forgive the dwarf…she has to show remorse and restraint, so I think _you_ should go talk to her. No one wants_ that _face on the war path."

"Wait a minutes" Kurt said nervously "this will end horribly, and I'll end up doing some damage – maybe permanent damage to situation. Rachel and I are almost as complicated as her and Finn are. Maybe this isn't such a great idea, two divas is never…..

"Hummel grow a pair and do it!"

"I find that quite offensive…..Fine! I'll do it, you-you so and so!"

Quinn smiled slyly knowing he would.

He turned around smoothly in his impeccably fitted grey outfit before turning to Quinn and saying "The only reason I'm doing it is because I can't bare seeing that" He paused mid-sentence and pointed to Finn "dragging his knuckles in a sulk. It will ruin my hard work and increase the stress wrinkles…."

Quinn laughed at Kurt before turning and giving Finn who was across the room another small smile. He mouthed a silent 'thank you' and Quinn felt things between her and him had improved leaps and bounds. She only hoped that the obstacles Finn and Rachel had gotten past weren't all in vain. She saw him leaving – knowing that at some point he would gain the courage to face the girl breaking his heart.

Hope you enjoyed this :) I changed the story as I didn't have enough time to write before Rachel really found out, so I hope it turned out ok! Sorry about the delay in updating – I had a corporate law exam in-between :/!Reviews would be great! Next will be Kurt and Rachel, then Rachel and Finn.


End file.
